Secrets
by purple halo
Summary: What if there is more to Julian's death than Jenny knows? After the final game everyone has a secret...and some are darker than others. My first fanfic so be nice! Plz R&R!
1. Chapter 1

SECRETS

Tom's POV

I watched, shell shocked, as Julian's body dissipated like mist on a sunny morning. Jenny was in hysterics, unable to believe what had just happened. He was gone. Everyone watched her from a distance in silence as she cried over the loss of _him_; I couldn't even think his name without a feeling of disgust. Despite everything, nothing could make me forgive him for what he had done, even though in the end he had paid for it. If it makes me a bad person for hating someone who sacrificed themselves for me, I really don't care; he'd tried to steal the one person who gives me reason to live. After a while Dee stepped forward and asked if Jenny was ok, but she wouldn't answer. Slowly I watched as she curled herself into a ball and cried tears of raw anguish.

Jenny's POV

I don't know how long I sat there; curled in a ball with tears rolling down my face, but eventually my friends got the picture and gave me some space. I didn't realise it would hurt this much, I didn't know I cared for Julian in that way, only when he was dying did the feelings I had been subconsciously suppressing flow out.

He was gone and now there was no sign, no trace of his existence on this world or the Shadow World. I guess that's what hurts the most, the only thing I can remember him by is the gold band, with the words _I am my only master_ inscribed on the inside, his gift to me while he was dying. I kept telling myself if I stay here just one more minute, maybe, just maybe, there's a chance he'll come back. But even to me the words sound like a lie.

There's an explosion of colour and I turn to look out the window to see the impossibly bright blue, that's almost the exact unearthly shade of Julian's cat tilted eyes. I feel my heart swell as I take it in and then, almost too soon, it fades into the mundane colour of the sky. _It's just like the world,_ I think, _with Julian the world is impossibly bright, but without its lifeless. _I slip the ring into my pocket and get up; it's time for me to join the world of the living.

Tom's POV

I stared out the window, without seeing anything. When I saw Jenny's reaction to Julian's death, the guilt swept up to drown me; I had always thought of how the world would be if I lost Jenny, but I'd never thought of who she wanted, me or Julian. It hadn't even occurred to me that she would rather spend the rest of her life with the wretched shadow man than with me. I hadn't thought it possible, but now I wasn't so sure, what if I'd created Jenny's personal hell?

What if I, so intent on not breaking my own heart, had smashed Jenny's into pieces? The shadow men had said there would be a price to pay for such a deal. I closed my eyes and tried to fight the growing nausea inside of me.

The Dream

_In the dream I awoke to find Zach next to me, we were both in shackles. I recognised the circumstances almost immediately; the sign opposite me stated it in big bold letters: _Treasure Island._ The same place we had been in for the third game. I don't know where Julian was and I didn't want to find out. I thrashed around wildly but I couldn't move, I admit it, I was scared. When this proved useless I tried to wake Zach up, but he didn't stir, even after my throat was sore from yelling at him for half an hour straight. When I was too tired to move and my throat so sore it hurt to breathe, they came. _

_The Shadow Men appeared one by one and crowded around me. Eventually one with red crocodile eyes took up the position of leader and addressed me._

"_You summoned us?" he hissed. His voice so reptilian it made my skin crawl._

_I shook my head, not trusting my voice to sound courageous._

"_You wish for us to do something, or else we wouldn't have come," another said, this one's spine jutted out of his back with sharp tooth-like bones that seemed as if they were about to protrude through the skin._

"_What does your heart desire?"asked the one with crocodile eyes, so quietly that Tom barely heard him._

_Tom looked around at the Shadow Men, looking at him with a demanding hunger. Suddenly he found his voice. "I want Julian to die," he whispered._

_The Shadow Men looked at him and smiled. They moved away and started talking in hushed voices and after several moments they cackled, Tom watched as they drew closer. _

"_You have a deal," said the one with the bony spine, "Julian will die tonight –" he broke off to turn and cackle, when he faced Tom again there was a malicious sparkle to his eyes "- you will get your wish, but there will be a price."_

_With that they disappeared, leaving Tom a sense of dread as their words sank in. "What _price?" _he yelled to no one in particular._

_There was a ghostly chuckle and then Tom saw letters appear in what seemed to be blood, on the sign that read 'Treasure Island'._

_Y...O...U...W...I...L...L...K...N...O...W...W...H...E...N...W...E...H...A...V...E...C...O...M...E...T...O...C...O...L...L...E...C...T._

THE END ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Tom's POV

I yelped and looked up; expecting to see the Shadow Men but instead saw a scared looking Jenny. My heart relaxed as I realized it was only a nightmare courtesy of Julian. I stared at her for a second, remembering how withdrawn she was last night; I was unsure of what to do with myself.

She was a wreck; her usually bright forest green eyes were dark and solemn, her honey blonde hair seemed darker than usual, her clothes were torn displaying a wide array of cuts varying in size and an entire leg of her jeans was caked in mud. I looked up at her face, searching for the girl that I loved, but she wasn't there, in her place was an empty shell.

"Say something," she whispered as if afraid to break the silence.

"Thorny," I only said one word but it seemed to be enough. Jenny smiled but it looked wrong on her face, it didn't reach her eyes like it used to.

"Tommy," Jenny threw herself into my arms and cried. She buried her head into my neck and I could feel the tears trickle down my skin from where her head was nestled. I rubbed her back and tried to say comforting things but it felt strange, as if I wasn't supposed to be me doing it. We weren't Tom-and-Jenny: a single unit, we were separate people trying to deal with the past events that had changed us forever. Julian had made us grow apart.

After a while she sniffed and looked up at me, her eyes were red and puffy, but she was smiling. I smiled back but it felt false. For some reason her smile didn't seem to light up the universe the way it used to. She just wasn't my sun anymore.

Jenny got up and held out a hand, but I didn't take it. She looked down at me, worry and pain clear in her eyes. Slowly she walked away, taking a part of me with her. I sat back and closed my eyes no longer hiding behind the charade that I had worn while I was with Jenny.

Jenny's POV

I walked away in a daze, _what had just happened there? _My plan was to let no one see how Julian's death had affected me, and then I was crying my heart out in Tom's lap. I looked up to see where my feet had taken me: the basement door. I traced the runes carved into the door with my finger tip and felt a metal clamp tighten around my chest. I gasped, trying to breathe past the pain in my heart. If I could go back in time I would change everything. The burning regret flowed up; if I hadn't left him in the first game he would still be alive. The thought swirled around my head bringing despair with it.

I slid my hand down the old oak door till it rested on the handle. I looked around to check if any of my friends were watching and then I twisted the door knob. Hope was rushing through my veins at the thought that the door might open to the shadow world. My heart slumped when it opened to reveal only the basement stairs. Hope crushed; I sat down on the top step and stared at the floor to ceiling bookcase on the opposite wall. I didn't cry, I didn't have any tears left, I just sat.

Julian's last moments kept replaying themselves in my head, whenever I closed my eyes they were there, I couldn't escape my nightmare. Julian was wrong; my worst fear wasn't what happened in the basement all those years ago. My worst fear was losing him.

Tom's POV

I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke up mid afternoon sunlight was streaming through the windows and sounds were coming from the kitchen. I stretched as I got up, my muscles screaming in protest after being forced into a certain position for so many hours in the last game. _Great, _I thought, _I'm going to be a cripple for the next week. _I poked my head into the kitchen and my jaw dropped, Audrey's hair was tied up in a neat bun, cooking a dish I didn't know the name of, but that wasn't what drew my attention; it was Jenny. She was sitting on the kitchen counter talking to Audrey animatedly; wearing clothes she wouldn't have been caught dead in last week.

_What the hell? _Jenny was wearing a black vest top with slashes down the sides and a close fitting denim mini skirt. What happened to the innocent girl I knew who wore long flowing skirts and long sleeved sweaters? Audrey looked up and smiled when she saw my expression, forgetting to answer the question Jenny had just asked. _Wow, my thoughts must be written all over my face. _Then _she_ turned around.

"We need to talk," I said.

Jenny's POV

I nodded, I knew this was coming. Tom loved it when I wore clothes that covered every inch of my skin. If Julian had taught me anything, it was that I could be independent and should be true to myself. I slid off the counter and followed Tom wordlessly; ignoring the questioning glances Audrey was throwing at me.

Tom led me outside to the back yard. I smiled as the memories came back; Zach and I had spent every summer here until my grandfather was stolen away by the Shadow Men. Tom kept going till we were at the back fence and the house was obscured by weeds and other plants.

Tom stopped and turned to face me, the anger was clear on his face. "What. Is. Going. On?" he asked, making each word a sentence.

I looked at him, knowing I was probably scowling. "I'm doing what I should have done ages ago: I'm being myself."

"This isn't you, Jenny! You don't like these kind of things. You wear long flowing skirts and cashmere cardigans."

"That's where you're wrong, Tom, I've always liked _these clothes!_"I gestured down at my top,I was half yelling now but I was too angry to care, "I_ hate _the clothes you always wanted me to wear.I just put all those skirts on because you liked them. If Julian taught us anything-"

"Julian taught us NOTHING!" Tom interrupted, "Julian just wanted you to be his. _He _wanted you and would do anything to get you, even if it meant hurting _everyone _you cared about. You just loved him too much to care what he did!"

I stared at Tom shell shocked. "That's not fair," I whispered.

Tom just stared at me with a look of cruel enjoyment in his eyes. That ticked me off; I squared my shoulders and stepped towards him. My anger was simmering and all I could think was how much I hated him. I looked up into the face that once made all my troubles disappear.

"I _HATE _YOU!" I was whispering but I said it with so much venom that it had the force of a shout.

At the same instant pain flashed in Tom's eyes and he doubled over gasping. I instantly wished I hadn't just said I hated his guts. Worry coursed through me and then before I could say anything he crumpled to the ground like a leaf in the autumn.

"Tommy?" I asked the panic evident in my voice. I held my breath and silently begged him to wake up. I felt tears trickle down my face and then my knees gave way. "TOMMY!" I was screaming now, half hysterical as the person who I had loved for almost all my life lay as if he were dead.

A shadow fell over us and I looked up. I almost screamed but it covered my mouth. I looked up into the eyes of a Shadow Man, it was the one with the red crocodile eyes and it was staring at me with an amused expression. Before I could say anything he spoke.

"I have a message...for Tom Locke," he hissed, withdrawing his scaled hand, "tell him –"he broke off to laugh, "tell him that his price has been paid."

"What price?" I asked stiffly.

"Why don't you ask him," he chuckled and then he was gone.

**A/N: i dont think many pple have read this soo i might be talking to myself but just in case id like to thank lostliveson4eva for being my 1st fan! :) hope u guys liked it. make me happy and review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Tom's POV

I collapsed onto the floor in agony. What was happening? All I remembered was Jenny telling me how much I hated her and then the pain as I felt some invisible wave rip through me. Panic surged through me, clouding my thoughts. I heard Jenny above me, she was screaming something, I wasn't sure exactly what, there was a thick haze in my mind and when I concentrated it felt like I had a migraine coming on. I felt Jenny drop down next to me and then my head was in her lap, I wanted to tell her I was fine, that I could hear her but I couldn't move, it was like I was in a coma.

Suddenly the screaming stopped and Jenny was tense, I furiously tried to open my eyes but it was hopeless. For once I would have to accept I couldn't protect her. I strained my ears to try and catch what was being said but all I caught was a ghostly chuckle before the darkness overwhelmed me.

Audrey's POV

I stepped into the back yard looking for Tom and Jenny, it was deserted. They had come this way, right? All I could hear was a soft whimpering coming from the flower bed at the back. _Was it a dying animal? _I wasn't sure. I walked forward powered by my curiosity. Halfway there I recognised the sound; it was a person and they were crying. My insides took a steep dive. _Oh crap. What had happened?_

I half ran to the flower bed, despite the overwhelming sense of dread growing in my stomach. I pushed back all of the plants in my way until I found them. Jenny was hyperventilating as she cradled Tom's head in her lap. I looked at Tom more closely and froze, whatever had happened wasn't good, Tom was so pale that he resembled a corpse. I cursed under my breath in several languages.

"What is going on?"

Jenny turned and looked up at me, her chest rising and falling rapidly. I was about to repeat the question when she spoke so softly I barely caught it.

"The Shadow Men...they're back."

My breath died in my throat, _the Shadow Men? _This was worse than I'd imagined, I shook my copper bangs out of my eyes and tried to process the information. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to panic; the key to fixing this mess was to stay calm.

"Ok. Jenny," I looked down at my friend, who had taken to rocking back and forth, "we need to get Tom inside, fast."

Jenny's forest green eyes suddenly focused; the gem like clarity and determination that she had worn throughout the games was back. Hope rose in my chest, Jenny was back. Not the nervous wreck of a girl that had been here for the last couple of days, the real Jenny, the one that would move mountains to find the solution to a problem. I silently thanked the gods or whoever was up there, before rushing Tom inside.

Jenny's POV

We sat in silence around the coffee table in my grandfather's dusty living room. We had sat here for hours trying to make sense of everything, why Tom had collapsed and what the Shadow Man had meant. Everyone was here except Tommy, who was upstairs wrapped in several old sheets. Dee sat to the left of me, next to Zach, with Summer on his lap; Michael and Audrey were on my right. I smiled slightly; Summer was so perfect for Zach. Now all I needed to do was find someone for Dee. Mike sneezed, bringing me back from my reverie. Despite the fact that Mrs. Durash still had the key to the house, it was clear that she hadn't bothered to use it in a long time.

"I don't get it. What price?" Zach murmured, "It doesn't make sense...what could Tom have to do with the other Shadow Men?"

Dee sat back frowning, her dark eyes clouded over as she sat deep in thought. "I feel as if we're missing something. Jenny you're sure you haven't left _anything_ out," Dee asked.

Audrey shook her head slowly, making her red hair glint in the sunlight. "The Shadow Men told us to ask Tom ourselves; maybe we should take their advice."

"I'll go see if he's awake," I said softly, leaving the room.

I walked down the corridor, taking care to avoid looking at the basement door and the spot where Julian had died. I pushed my hand into my jeans pocket, my hand closing around the thin golden band hidden there. _I am my only master, _I thought to myself over and over like a mantra.

The staircase was narrow, my sides almost brushing the walls, I absentmindedly reached out for the hand rail, it was covered with dust but I couldn't care less. I didn't care about much anymore, it was hard to when you had faced your deepest fears, just managed to get out of having your soul sold to the Shadow Men and lost the one person you cared about. When you looked at the world that way, the small stuffjust didn't seem to matter.

It was hard to spend time with my friends now too...it just reminded me of the games and _him. _I didn't say his name anymore; it just brought an intolerable amount of pain, the kind that slowly drives you insane. I was surprised that my friends, especially Dee and Audrey, hadn't noticed that whenever he was mentioned I sucked in a breath or paled to an unhealthy colour, but then I guess I'd changed so much that I was like a different person. So who was I then? I thought about it for a moment but only drew a blank.

I realised I was standing at the top of the stair case, staring sightlessly at the master bedroom door across the hall. I shook myself and walked to the guestroom where Tom lay. I felt nervous, I don't know why, it's not like anything had changed since this afternoon. I tried to calm myself but not even my mantra was working now, my insides were taking steep dives and the ring seemed to buzz with more energy with every step I took closer to the room. It was as if Julian was trying to protect me from where ever he was right now. I still refused to think he was dead.

I closed my eyes, futilely hoping that I could calm the huge moths swarming in my stomach. Then I heard a sound that chilled me to the bone. It almost scared me as much as his death. It was a scream, one of sheer agony. Tommy was screaming.

Tom's POV

I heard someone screaming and my eyes snapped open, _what's going on? _It took me a moment to realise it was me screaming, I was in agony. This was completely different to the circumstances earlier, before I was in a state similar to a coma. That was heaven compared to this. Now it felt like someone was running a knife over my chest and trying to yank one of my organs out; that was the only way to describe it.

I heard the door slam into the wall and turned to see who had come to help me. All I saw were shapes; a tall black smudge was in the doorway. My heart began to beat faster and I desperately tried to move. What if it was the Shadow Men? But it was as if my body was tied down with lead weights, I was held motionless. The figure moved closer and I desperately tried to squirm away, hoping that my efforts would be rewarded.

Another wave of pain lanced through me and I felt my back arch upwards. I flopped back down gasping and turned to face the person. It was clear that it was a man, but past that I couldn't tell much, he wore a long hooded black cloak, casting his face in shadow.

"Who are you?" I croaked.

"I'm your worst nightmare," he replied.

I stiffened. I recognised that voice...who_ is _that_? _I frowned trying to concentrate; it was on the tip of my tongue. I sifted through my thoughts, desperately trying to remember. Black spots began to swarm on the edges of my vision, I didn't have much time. _WHO IS IT? _Suddenly I found the information. His name was...I broke off as the darkness swarmed up to drown me.

Jenny's POV

I flung the door open and hissed in a breath, Tom was definitely not ok. I noticed several things simultaneously; the room was freezing, so cold that my teeth began to chatter within seconds, and that something was glowing. I took another step into the room, trying to figure out where the light was coming from. I noticed that the light was a strange shade similar to cobalt blue, the same blue as Julian's eyes.

**A/N: thx for the reviews ive gotten so far! According to the stats page quite a few of you have read this but arent reviewing though...if u scroll down you will see a link with the words "review this chapter" plz review! :P **


	4. Chapter 4

Tom's POV

The darkness pressed down on me; it was all I could feel, it smothered my senses. It was like dusk; when the shadows swirl at the edges of the shade, waiting for the last rays of the late afternoon sun to slip behind the horizon. I wanted to cry out but I couldn't work out how. I was drowning, the darkness was intoxicating. Wherever I was it was far worse than the most grotesque and horrifying depiction of hell I'd ever seen. Then, cutting through everything I felt a burning sensation slowly moving across my chest like a knife. I tried to hiss in a breath but all I drew into my lungs was the heavy shadows. Was this the price I had to pay? Was I to become a slave to the Shadow Men like Jenny's grandfather? I felt panic rush into me faster than the darkness as I drifted out of consciousness.

Jenny's POV

I watched the scene unfolding before me with a sick amazement. The blue light was getting brighter now, with every passing second it was getting stronger and Tom was getting weaker. It was exactly how I imagined it would look when a galaxy was swallowed by a black hole; the stars and planets would be sucked deeper and deeper into the darkness until eventually there was nothing left, no trace of them ever existing. Like what happened when Julian died. The metal clamp tightened over my chest and I closed my eyes, trying not to fall apart at the seams at such a crucial moment. _Tom was in danger, _I told myself, _save him now, cry later._ I snapped out of it. _Tom _was in danger.

I searched frantically for the source of light, locking the fierce waves of pain and despair in a deep recess in the back of my mind. Then I realised that the eerie blue light was right in front of me, coming from the one place I refused to look; Tom. The longer I looked the more dread welled up inside me. I tore my eyes away and shoved my hand into my jeans pocket, clasping Julian's ring in my hand for strength. _ The light...it was emanating from his – _I broke the thought off before my fear could completely seize me.

I _couldn't_ deal with anymore of the supernatural. The last games had crushed my ignorance of what hid in the darkness and stolen away all chances I had of happiness, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my once whole and happy life. Another experience of the cruelty and harshness of the Shadow World would scatter those pieces even further and then I wouldn't be able to find them.

It wasn't _humanly_ possible for the light to be coming from Tom's chest, I thought, my stubborn mind refusing to believe what was obviously being presented to me. But then again what was? I'd been kidnapped by a Shadow Man who was so obsessed with me that he forced me into playing life endangering games in the hope that I'd lose and become his forever. _That_ didn't exactly count as normal.

I strode forward, brushing all my doubts away like cobwebs in an old house. I paused at Tom's side; I could feel my heart beating in my throat and blood roaring in my ears. I forced myself to look at the light source, some part of me still clinging on to the fragile hope that it was not coming from Tom's chest. My stomach dropped when I saw that it was right there, glowing from under the fabric like a torch.

I raised my hands so that they rested on his chest. They were shaking uncontrollably and suddenly the last conversation I had with him came back to me. Tears slipped silently down my face as I remembered the last thing I said to him was 'I hate you' and now he could be dying. My knees shook, warning me they would buckle at any second. I yanked his top until it exposed his chest. I gasped and my knees buckled, letting me tumble to the floor. I curled into a ball my face pressed against the cool wooden floor; I had only seen it for a second but it had been enough. I shivered as I saw it again with just as much clarity as the first time. On Tom's chest were several slashes, all glowing the same eerie blue of Julian's eyes. To an average person it would just be slashes but to me it was obvious what they were: runes.

Dee's POV

I paced around the room deep in thought. _We're missing something, we're missing something, we're missing something, _the thought echoed around my head creating a wall that blocked off everything else in my mind.

The sun was setting now, casting long shadows in the room. It didn't feel like we'd only been here for one day. It didn't feel like Julian had died for Jenny only yesterday. A smile twisted my features as I realised what this meant. I was _free. _I could do what I wanted without having to live in fear of when Julian would next show up. No more games. No more risking my life for Jenny's freedom. The smile fell from my face. _Jenny. _

Jenny loved Julian. Jenny lived for when Julian would show up and terrorize us. Julian had slowly gotten a hold on her that no one else had a chance of breaking. She was Julian's more than she would ever be ours. And now Julian was dead. Guilt swept through me. Julian died for all of us, so we could live our lives happy and here I was celebrating his death.

I stopped pacing when I was in front of the window. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the sun's last rays as they warmed my skin. I stood there until the sun went down and then turned to face the group. Zach and Summer were making a snack in the kitchen and Michael was watching Audrey sleep on his shoulder with a fascinated expression; I felt jealousy steal through me. I was the one who was eternally alone, single. There was never a 'Tom-and-Jenny: a single unit' type of relationship for me. In fact there was no relationship, period. All my friends had someone to share everything with, Summer had Zach, Audrey had Michael and Jenny had...I stopped. Jenny didn't have any one either. She'd had Tom, but he was driven away when Julian came, now Julian was dead and Tom was still gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jenny's POV

_I looked around and saw them everywhere; the eyes, they scaled the walls and littered the ceiling scrutinizing me from every angle. They watched with unblinking black orbs that glistened with malice and swallowed all light. My breathing spiked, no matter how deep I buried the memories of the eyes they would always haunt me. I flicked my hair out of my face and dozens of pairs of eyes suddenly focused on me with heavy gazes._

_I closed my eyes suppressing a shudder. Where was I? The question spun in my head looking for an answer that was not there, I knew the answer would be found in my surroundings but that meant opening my eyes and facing them – the Shadow Men. I wasn't ready to leave the comforting darkness. The question spun faster, pulling other thoughts out of their hiding places and to the front of my mind where the question had formed a tornado. Julian was suddenly in my forethoughts, the cruel mocking Shadow Man who hated everyone, the heart wrenchingly gentle one, the broken soul who wanted someone to light his darkness. I felt a tear slide down my face as I saw the last version of Julian, the one I had let down. _

_Guilt was welling up in a deep recess within me; I was seconds away from collapsing on the floor in a pool of my own tears and becoming the wretched person I had been on the night Julian died. I couldn't take it anymore; my eyes flew open of their own accord to face the hungry eyes._

_But they weren't there; the walls they had covered were bare and in their place was only a small flickering light in the far corner of the room. I felt happiness rush up inside me; I had found the way out of this nightmare! I half ran to the light. I wasn't surprised I hadn't seen it earlier – it was partially hidden by the wall which jutted out in a sharp point, forcing me to slide into the bordering room sideways._

_I stopped when I saw what was in the room. It wasn't what I had thought it was, light flickering through an open door, instead there was a stone font that looked as if it had once held water but now there were large flames leaping from the centre. Then my heart froze. Black moths were fluttering all over the place._ _I tried to swallow past the strange obstruction in my throat. I wanted to leave now and fast._

"_You were supposed to be the light to my darkness, my flame," an emotionless voice said to my retreating back._

_I stopped in my tracks and stared unseeing at the wall in front of me as if I was suddenly interested in its uneven curves and jagged points. After a few moments I turned and saw the face that had haunted my worst nightmares for the past few days. Julian was leaning against one of the four identical walls on the other side of the room, half of his face lit by the warm glow of the fire, the other in shadow. _

_Kind of like his soul, I thought abstractedly, half in the light, half in the dark._

_His strange cat tilted eyes were missing their usual inner light, as he watched_ _a moth fly towards the heart of the fire to its death. _

'_Like a moth to a flame,' he mused, before laughing quietly to himself. The laugh was completely different to how it used to be; before it was cunning, now it was self mocking and dejected._

_Julian turned to face me fully so I could see the coldness he was harbouring there and then the fire in the room went out as if an icy gust of wind had ripped through the room. The room was plunged into darkness; I wouldn't have been able to see my fingers if I'd waved them right in front of my face. I spun around, taking that as my cue to leave and screamed when something grabbed my arm, preventing me from moving. I looked up and was caught in a stern gaze. Julian was staring down at me, his blue eyes, two shades darker and five shades more exotic than cobalt seemed to hold their own light and were the only thing I could see._

'_I died for you,' he whispered his eyes suddenly looking terribly lost, 'what did you do for me?'_

Audrey's POV

Where was she? I'd assumed Jenny had wanted to be alone, but it was nearly midnight and she still hadn't come back down. What if something had happened? Panic rushed through me as I considered all the possible things that could have happened. No one was up yet, I'd woken up half an hour ago because of Michael's snoring. I smiled as I thought of Michael. He was so perfect for me.

I tip toed through the living room, careful to avoid any of the creaky floorboards and then rushed upstairs. The sense of foreboding was too much now, the closer I got, the worse I felt. It increased when I saw the door to Tom's room wide open leading into the darkness. I cautiously entered the room and hissed in a breath. Tom was unconscious and Jenny was nowhere in sight. I crept through the room, feeling my way in the darkness and desperately trying to keep calm. The shadows slowly wrapped themselves around me as I moved further into the darkness making it harder and harder to see as I got closer to the bed.

It was like I was entering another land, the place in between the human world and the Shadow world, where nothing was in full control. Where the shadows could weave a cold web of despair around you while you were still in the comfort of your own home, or make the safest place you know transform into a living hell.

Suddenly there was a soft creak coming from behind me. I turned around sharply to see the door close with a soft click. I was definitely not fully in the human world anymore. I took a deep breath and stepped backwards when something came into contact with my leg. I screamed as I saw a Shadow Man grabbing me in my mind's eye. I tumbled to the floor with a hollow thud and saw the ceiling staring down at me. I turned quickly to see who or _what_ I had tripped over.

I stared into the darkness trying to make out shapes or distinguishing features in the murky darkness. Staring back at me was a pair of green eyes. _Jenny. _I sighed in relief glad that I had found my friend and then stopped. Jenny was staring at me but not seeing me. She was lost in her own thoughts, her eyes glassy and far away, displaying an emotion I couldn't place. They were halfway between anguish and regret. She looked haunted.

A/N: thx soo much for all the reviews soo far it really makes my day. If you want me to update again review i dont care if its only two words! ^^!


	6. Chapter 6

Jenny's POV

I heard the door open and someone approach the bed, but I remained motionless. I didn't want to move and give away my presence. If they found me they'd question me... I wasn't ready to answer them quite yet. I didn't want to face my fears, to face..._Julian _even if he was only in my thoughts_. _I prayed silently to myself that whoever it was searching for me would give up their quest. But the footsteps were getting louder...closer; I knew they would find me at any moment now_. _I silently screamed for them to go away.

I felt something connect with my back but it didn't hurt like it was supposed to, it was like I was cushioned with numbness, all I could feel was the pain deep down inside of me. I didn't bother looking at the object that had crashed into me, it didn't matter. If it was a Shadow Man, they could kill me or worse...I had nothing to live for anymore. Julian was gone, Tom was in some sort of coma and probably hated my guts, Audrey had Michael, Zach had Summer, Dee had Abba and my parents had each other. Everyone would be fine without me and I would be with Julian...I hope. I owed that to him at the very least.

I smiled inwardly as I thought. I could be with Julian; all I needed to do was wait for death to come for me.

Audrey's POV

I tried to think of what to say to her, the girl that was a ghost of my friend. But all my words got stuck in my throat. She looked so...dead inside. I didn't know what to do with myself. After an uncomfortable silence, Jenny finally turned to face me. Her green eyes were dark with pain and longing; whatever she knew, it wasn't good.

"Hi," I whispered, feeling uncomfortable breaking the silence.

She smiled tentatively, "Hi," her voice was rough, broken as if she had been crying.

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly, "You didn't come down and I was worried."

Jenny nodded slowly and sat up, "I'm fine, I just wanted to stay up here for a while," she said, putting a smile on her face.

But I saw the hint of sadness on her face, the darkness lurking in her eyes, she was lying. I frowned slightly but decided to let it pass, if what she knew was important, she'd tell us when she was ready...right? I suddenly felt unsure of myself. Jenny wasn't the same girl she was six months ago, she wasn't the untroubled girl with one love and a life everyone was jealous of. She wasn't the girl who had let me join her circle of friends when I knew no one. She'd found another love, who'd turned her world upside down and then died shortly after, and as a result Jenny was not the same person. Jenny had hid things from us throughout the games, her passion for Julian being one of them.

If she could hide that from us, surely she could hide a lot of other things too. I stared at her for a minute as she watched Tom. Then after a while I got up and headed to the door.

"How about we go downstairs for a bit?" I whispered, breaking Jenny out of her reverie.

She nodded earnestly eager to break away from her train of thoughts. I led her out of the room pretending not to notice the way Jenny stared at Tom as if she'd seen a ghost, or the way she backed away from him as if he was one of the Shadow Men. I acted oblivious, desperately hoping that when she was ready Jenny would tell me, but at the same time I knew that if Jenny wasn't going to tell me tonight she wasn't planning to.

My stomach twisted as I considered what she knew that was so awful that she had slipped back into a state where she wasn't herself anymore. I closed my eyes for a second at the bottom of the stairs. I really hoped that Jenny would tell me what was wrong, but if she didn't then I wasn't going to pry.

Tom's POV

I woke up with a pounding headache. What had happened? All I remember was feeling this darkness pressing down on me, cutting off my air supply, making me lose consciousness slowly. The darkness hunted down the weak when they weren't looking and went in for the kill before you had the chance to scream. The darkness was lethal. It found the darkness inside of you, found it in places that you didn't even know you had. Julian had done that, but then again Julian was a part of the darkness. He was a Shadow Man.

I squinted, the sun was just peeping over the horizon, creating the most extraordinary shade of blue.

_Jenny always loved this colour, it reminded her of my eyes, _a voice whispered in my head.

I had only heard that voice once before and never here. I was struck by how similar the voice sounded to the one I was thinking of, they were identical. But it couldn't be the same voice, it was impossible. I'd paid in blood so that, that cat-like purr could never be heard again, the voice that, when he wanted, could sound like rocks running over water. For me to hear that voice meant that _they _had gone back on their word, or that I was hallucinating, because otherwise everything had gone horribly wrong and my life was seconds away from falling apart.

The voice belonged to Julian.

_You made me feel like the one_

_Made me feel like the one_

_The one_

_I don't know where we are going now_

_I don't know where we are going now_

_So take a look at me now._

**A/N: thx soo much for th reviews and author alerts and fave stories :P lyrics are from dakota by stereophonics. Did you like it? love it? hate it? please R&R i really love reviews and it helps me make my story better. A lots going to happen in the next chappie so make sure you've got me motivated so that its good. :)**

**purple halo :P**


	7. Chapter 7

Tom's POV

Panic stole through me, faster than anything I'd ever experienced. Julian was _here, _alive inside of me. I felt the hairs on my arm raise as I considered what _his _presence could entail. Was this the Shadow Man's price, to raise Julian from the dead and place his spirit inside of me?

_No, I came here of my own will. Shadow Men don't go back on their word. _

I cringed at the voice. _What was happening to me? _

_You..._ _are turning into a Shadow Man; my Elders have taken your soul, placed some of their own darkness inside of you and carved your name into the rune stave. So now you're some kind of hybrid freak who shares his mind with a very _angry_ Shadow Man that you tried to kill._

I heard the cruel excitement in his voice as he told me of my fate; I could practically see him smirking at me. I was going to become a monster.

_Actually you already are, don't you think? I mean only _monsters _kill people and since you _murdered _me, I think you qualify as a very, very bad monster. I wonder what Jenny will think when she discovers that sweet, innocent 'Tommy' is my murderer._

Julian's voice was cold and mocking. He was enjoying every second of my pain, especially now that he could feel how deep his words cut into me. What was worse than all of Julian's mockery was the truth. The truth rang as clear as a bell and made me feel like I was standing on the edge of a cliff. I knew then that Julian had me cornered, I didn't know what he was capable of, he had the potential to ruin everything and he knew it.

_What do you want?_ I asked quietly, hoping my voice sounded braver than I felt.

_Revenge._

Jenny's POV

Audrey sat with me outside in silence, I think she realised that I didn't want to talk and had decided not to question my poor attempt to conceal the truth. She'd agreed to sit with me all night long on the top step of the porch, despite the ridiculous cold. There was nothing to do but watch the silent street in front of us, we'd watched the sun rise together and now the pale morning light filtered softly through the heavy shelter of the trees.

I liked the cold; it let the rest of my body's temperature drop to the coldness I felt inside of me. It let me forget how beautiful life could be and helped me focus on the numbing ache centred in my chest. I knew Audrey wanted to go back inside but I couldn't muster the energy to move. I was like the living dead, a zombie.

I was scared. Tom was changing into something else, something that didn't belong in this world. I'd tried to mull over the events but each time I got to the part where I saw the runes carved into Tom's chest by some unseen knife, I hit a dead end. It made my stomach twist and I felt sick. _How is this possible?_ I knew I needed to tell the group what was going on, but for some reason I didn't want to. I would tell them later, when I'd figured it all out. I just hoped I would figure it out before it was too late.

Julian's POV

I felt a smile tug at the corner of my mouth as I felt _Tommy _tense up. I knew it wasn't a particularly nice smile, it was more like the one the Lurker gave when he was about to devour his prey, fully satisfied that he was going to get what he wanted. No one could kill me without killing _dearest _Tommy. From now on it was war, but nobody knew what was happening and if everything went to plan no one would discover the truth until it was over and I had won my game.

I was distantly aware that Tom was getting up and moving, but right now that didn't concern me. All that mattered was that I took control of this body undetected, so that nobody noticed that I was taking control until it was too late. I felt another smile shape my features, it was going to be so fun to feel Tommy's horror as he slowly faded away.

I glanced in the mirror and saw someone else's eyes stare back at me. They were shadowed with a worry that would never have been on my face and were a hideous shade of hazel. Tom physically shrunk away from the venom of my thoughts and I laughed, scorn seeping into my tone.

_Scared? This isn't even the beginning. If you're scared now you might as well forget anything you've got planned._

Tom glared at me, if I was capable of feeling scared I might have been then, but Shadow Men were born to be unafraid. I'd faced the worst in life and come out smiling, Tommy wasn't going to scare me.

_I've killed you once, what's made you so sure I won't be able to do it again? _Tom asked trying to sound more confident than he was capable. I laughed again, louder than before.

_Because before you played dirty and made a deal with my ancestors. Now, no one can kill me without killing you._

Tom's expression shifted, it went from one of pure anger to one of pure horror; it was clear he hadn't realised the consequences of me living inside of him, I smiled drinking in his fear. I was like a cancer inside him, unstoppable and 100% terminal. Tom was a walking dead man. I smiled again and felt Tom shiver inwardly before I put up walls to conceal my thoughts.

Tom's POV

I felt Julian detach himself from me and draw away into a corner of my mind – our mind, now - hiding his thoughts and emotions behind a shadowy screen, but my thoughts still thrummed around my head as if he was still listening to them. I had been so sure of myself, my future with Jenny but Julian had come and thrown everything into turmoil again. When Julian was around nothing was certain, anything was possible.

I stared in the mirror, hoping my reflection would answer some of the questions in my head, but it just stared back at me, just as confused as I was. I wasn't human, that's what Julian had told me, whether I should believe him I didn't know. _I wasn't human, I was something else. Not a Shadow Man but not human. I was a half breed of some kind. _I felt panic rise up in me again and hastily tried to control it. But one question slipped past my guard where it spun around my head looking for an answer.

_If I was a Shadow Man, where did that leave Jenny and me?_

**A/N: thanx 2 all my reviewerz particularly nightgirl25 and one little pony 4 your reviews for the previous chappie :P if u want me 2 update soon then review..i kno u guys are reading this so y arent u reviewing? im not gonna blackmail u or anything but i would speed updating if i got more reviews XD R&R pple XD**


	8. Chapter 8

Jenny's POV

It was raining; an army of icy raindrops were tapping the window pane, desperate to escape from the storm. Desperate to escape their fate; I watched them calmly from the other side of the glass as they slowly slipped further down the window, dragging other bead like droplets in their wake, until they disappeared from my view, other raindrops replacing them in a matter of seconds.

I couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts and questions crowded my mind to even think about having a restful night. I wasn't even sure if I was sane anymore, after living for so long in the fast lane maybe I was unable to believe that it was truly over and that _he _was dead. Maybe I'd imagined the Shadow Man that came to tell me of some kind of '_deal' _that Tom had made with them. Maybe I'd imagined all the events that night, losing all hope of even pretending to myself that I was _happy _my soul mate was dead in the process. _Or maybe, _a quieter part of my mind whispered, calming my hysterical thoughts, _what you saw was the truth and you just can't handle it. _My stomach twisted anxiously as I processed the thought and somewhere in my mind it clicked and I knew that I was right. But the calm which stole over my mind receded almost instantly when I realised what it meant. No one was safe.

Summer's POV

My eyes flew open to check that it was safe before I realised where I was. The living room was silent except for the incessant tapping of raindrops on the window pane and the distant ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall. The sheets Zach and I had taken down from the linen cupboard to use for the sofa bed were twisted around my legs and my skin was burning up. I'd just had another of my nightmares. It was the same one every night and each time I couldn't change what was about to happen; I couldn't stop the floor and ceiling of my room from caving in, plunging me to my death. I couldn't stop myself from remembering how it felt to have what felt like a thousand tonnes of rubble fall on top of me. I began to shake uncontrollably and knew I needed to change what I was thinking before I woke Zach up, but this time I couldn't stop. The shaking just got worse until I had to get up and pull myself to the far corner of the room where I wouldn't feel tempted to wake Zach up and burden him with all that I'd been hiding. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks as I remembered and desperately prayed that morning would come soon to banish my fears for another day. The truth is I'm not the same girl who agreed to play the forbidden game, Julian had seen to that. I remembered what happened between losing the first game and reappearing in the last. I remembered all of it.

Audrey's POV

I stared down at the vibrating phone in my hand like it was a snake. Even though the caller ID was hidden, I knew who it was - my parents. I took a deep breath knowing that if I answered I'd get shouted at for at least half an hour and tried to think whether it would be better to ignore it. My instincts said to answer. I sighed and raised the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly, hoping it was dad who answered and not mum.

"_Where the hell are you?" _A nasal voice snarled down the phone, not even bothering to ask if I was ok and I knew that my hope had been wasted.

"I'm at Jenny's house, remember? I told you the other day,"

"_Don't give me that crap I'm not stupid, I went to Jenny's house this morning and _neither _of you are there. I can't believe you're so selfish, running away just to stop your family from reaching their dreams."_

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my tone as brittle as glass.

"_We're supposed to be _going _today!"_

I frowned as I tried to figure out what she was saying and then realisation dawned. _Crap! _Taking my silence as her cue to continue, mum began to yell at me about how I was always getting in the way of her plans and how useless I was, but I couldn't focus on her hateful words. All I could think about was Germany, the place where all my nightmares had begun and where I had never wanted to return. All I could think about was how stupid I was to forget that my parents had arranged for us to move there.

**A/N: OMG! I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated in soo long people! I'm really sorry and I have no excuses….I just took ages to write it! Ok tht is kind of an excuse….but it's the TRUTH! Like to say thx to all my reviewers, I'm a bit short on time but I promise I'll update sooner next time. Once a month at least(…hopefully!) ok so if you have any suggestions, comments, would like to tell me anything - review! I luv reviews and they help me write faster so if you want me to update sooner you know what to do!**


	9. Chapter 9

Summer's POV

_The darkness swirled around my feet, beckoning for me to come forward and embrace the icy shadows. I hesitated for a second; something was holding me back…something important was waiting at the edges of my consciousness but dissipating when I tried to focus on it. I couldn't remember what it was that was so important to me and that scared me the most. If I couldn't remember that, then what else had I forgotten? I shivered and looked around, wishing I could find something to trigger my memory. But everywhere I looked there was darkness, the shadows had surrounded me._

_I struggled to recall a memory but the shadows made it impossible. They swirled around me impatiently, demanding my attention with each icy caress. I fought with the fog that seemed to have clouded over my mind but with each advance I made in one direction, it seemed to disrupt more and more of the rest of my mind. It was as if I was disorientated in my own mind, my sanctuary. The darkness rose around me again, brushing my calves and causing goosebumps to break out across my flesh. I blinked. What had I just been doing? I'd forgotten. My stomach twisted as I realised how vulnerable I was. Whatever was invading my mind had a power over me. _

_The shadows receded into the darkest corner of the room, as if some invisible force had pulled them back. It was as if they were waiting for something. Or someone. Now only a wispy smoke-like tendril remained around me, its presence doing little to comfort me as my breathing spiked and my heart rate accelerated. Something was _wrong; _there were holes in my memory and it had something to do with the fog in my mind. The pale shadow tautened as it swirled around my legs working upwards until it rested against my neck, its cool touch like ice. From one touch I knew that I was running out of time; the shadows promised safety and protection but only if I came with them immediately._

_I had to make a decision or the darkness would go and I'd be defenceless to whatever dangers decided to come my way. I let out a quiet whimper; I didn't want to be alone. The shadows suddenly faded as if their power was being drawn away from them and the small shadow behind me dropped another couple of degrees. A shiver ran up my spine as I realised that I was out of time; whatever the other shadows were anticipating had arrived. The shadow behind me was drawing away from me and I let out a strangled gasp. I didn't want to be alone with whatever was coming. _

_The shadow behind me grew even taller and I felt a draft tickle the back of my neck as the shadow seemed to solidify. I gasped as I realised what was happening but the 'shadow' had now completely solidified and had me immobilised. I twisted to face it, hoping that all I would see when I turned around was the harmless shadow. My hope was wasted. _

_I looked up and felt my heart stop before picking up at twice its usual pace. I felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming van. I was staring into the impossibly blue eyes of Julian. He looked amused, like how you would expect a cat to look at a cornered mouse. I gulped._

"_Did you like my trick?" he asked, his voice somehow managing to sound hostile and amused at the same time, "I personally thought it was my best yet. A _Shadow Man _hiding in the _shadows; _it was very original if you ask me."_

"_Why did you bring me here?" I asked, furious with myself when I heard the tremor in my voice._

_All traces of amusement left his face and I felt my insides knot with fear. "You're here because you failed," he snarled, "and when you fail, you become my slave. Do you know what that means?" he was speaking slowly now, as if I would have trouble understanding him and that made everything twice as bad. "I have complete control of you."_

_Another shiver ran up my spine, I had just wanted to leave here but now I was trapped. I felt venom seep into my thoughts. This was all Jenny's fault, if she hadn't bought the game in the first place I wouldn't be in this mess. The desire to escape became unbearable. I had to escape. I felt part of me scream out in protest as I figured out what I was going to do; I could end up dead if this didn't work, or worse, but the rest of my mind smothered my warnings. I closed my eyes and – _

Cold hands grabbed me and I screamed, my eyes flying open. A person was in front of me, with light hair and pale skin, but something was blurring my vision, I couldn't focus on their features. _Oh God…please don't let it be _him_. _I kicked out and scrambled away as panic took me, but the hands on my arms only tightened. Something cold traced a path down my face and I stiffened, the shadows were _touching _me again. I shouldn't have been so stupid; I shouldn't have even considered trying to escape _him, _now I'd made my situation ten times worse; I was probably going to die right here and right now.

"Please-please let me go! I didn't do anything!" I shrieked.

I tried to scream but only managed a choked sob as another cold shadow ran down my face. My stomach was knotting with fear and I was feeling dizzy. I gasped trying to force air into my lungs but it was as if they'd collapsed. Black dots swarmed in front of my vision and I felt like I was about to faint. _Oh God, please pleaseplease don't let it be him. Please don't let it be Julian._

"Summer!"

The harshness of the voice made me gasp and I struggled again, clawing at my captor's face. But the hands began to shake me.

"Summer!" The voice sounded half scared now.

For the first time I actually focused on who it was. They had light hair but not the pure white of Julian's and their eyes weren't the same captivating shade of electric blue that had tormented me so much when I was…gone. It was Zach. The 'shadows' sliding down my face were tears.

The realisation hit me hard. Zach was staring at me from behind a curtain of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes during my struggle, with a half pained, half scared look on his face. I'd never felt so far away from him. The look in his eyes made me feel as if I was stuck on the other side of a ravine, or a unique animal that everyone was fascinated with but never quite understood. We stared at each other in silence for what seemed like forever and then I gave up. For the first time since I got back, I began to cry.

Audrey's POV

I hung up quickly and slid down the wall before dropping onto the floor. My life seemed to be falling apart around me. How could I have forgotten? I felt tears spill down my cheeks and in a moment of sheer fury, threw my phone across the room. It hit the tiled wall with a hollow clunk before dropping to the floor with a satisfying _crack. _

I was going to the place where my nightmares were born to face my fears alone. I was going to leave all my friends and, more importantly, abandon Michael. Misery whirled up inside me, but I wouldn't cry. I refused to cry. I had learnt and perfected the art of betraying no emotion a long time ago. I know how to not let anyone see the real me. But I had finally found the place where I could belong. Of course my parents had to take it away. They always had and always would find a way to take away the things that mattered most to me.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, hoping that if I held myself tightly enough I wouldn't fall to pieces. I closed my eyes. _Deep breaths, _I told myself, _deep breaths. _ But no matter how deeply I breathed in and out, I couldn't stop the misery that swirled in the pit of my stomach or the tears that slid silently down my face. For the first time since the games had begun I was allowing myself to truly feel what I had stored so deeply within me and I hated every second of it. I knew that I wouldn't be in this mess if I'd just opened up to someone; but that had meant getting close to people, I hadn't been ready to do that when it could just be ripped away from me in a matter of seconds. But that was before I was pulled into a game that forced me to face my worst fears and forced me to open up before I exploded. That was before I'd realised how truly in love I was with Michael. I hadn't opened up, because before all this I'd been smart enough to know that letting people in was just another way to invite loneliness into my life.

I must have fallen asleep because when I awoke, pale grey sunlight was filtering in through the window behind me, casting pale shadows. I stretched and felt my muscles protest loudly. I groaned and stood up so that I could look out of the window. It was so peaceful outside, the birds were singing quietly from the trees, waiting for the last of the mist to clear from around the trees before they took flight. I smiled in a moment of pure happiness. The feeling felt strange to me, like I hadn't been happy in a while. I sighed and turned away from the quiet scene outside and back to the storm raging within me.

Tom's POV

I woke up with a feeling of weightlessness; it wasn't the feeling you get when you're extremely happy, more like the one you get when someone's turned off the gravity. I was floating in my own head. _What the hell? _Panic overwhelmed me as I struggled to understand what was going on. I tried to move but I felt like I didn't have the energy, it felt like I had to spend time harbouring energy before I could actually do anything to control my body. But I didn't have time to do that. _Was I paralysed? _The thought slipped from behind one of my walls and I felt hysteria bubbling up from somewhere. I hastily tried to push it down. _Please no, I can't be paralysed….people don't just wake up one day and find themselves paralysed._ Something clicked deep down inside me. People don't just wake up paralysed; something has to _happen _to them. Nothing's happened to me…except for Julian.

_What the hell did he do? _I practically shouted the thought, but it just echoed. As if Julian had gone…or he had blocked me. I tried again. _What the hell did you do, you-_

'_You' what? _The cold voice I was all too familiar with interrupted me, suddenly making me wish I hadn't spoken. Julian laughed at my silence. _Are you too afraid to answer or something? Cos' you didn't seem afraid of me a second ago._

Something was different about him, he sounded stronger, more powerful. But if he was stronger, then I must be…weaker.

**A/N: Ok, don't hate on me for not updating all march.I know my plan kinda failed…by kinda I mean completely failed XD. But don't I get brownie points for making this the longest chappie so far? It's four pages long & almost 2000 words! I'd like to thank all my reviewers particularly ****RockMusicLoverx**** (hi again!) you're awesome, and ****Nightgirl25**** for reviewing practically every chappie and putting up with my crappy updating, I would also like to thank all the other pple who read but don't review…though I would REALLY REALLY love it if you reviewed :P. **

**Ok I'm babbling, but I have three questions for the awesome people who actually bother to read this:**

**Is this story tooo angsty…AND should I change the genre to angst?**

**Should I change the main characters to Jenny and Julian considering that Tom's gonna bite the dust pretty soon?**

**And finally the most important question of them all: **

**WILL YOU REVIEW? (Plz say yes!)**


	10. Chapter 10

Julian's POV 

I watched the sunlight stream through the windows, cutting through the shadows that had dared to cross in front of the large bay windows with cold interest. It was funny how strong the shadows were in the protection of the night but how weak they became as the sun rose. I shifted uneasily from my position in the shadows; it still felt strange to be able to walk in the sunlight, to not feel weakened by its golden light or have the desire to count down the hours until the sun set.

I needed to figure out my next move. I needed to get Jenny to realise that I was here without alerting the others of my presence. I was getting stronger every day, gaining more and more control of Tommy's body, but none of my powers had returned; the most exciting things I could do were mere party tricks. I was essentially human. The first true smile I'd had since I'd died crossed my features; things would be different this time round. I could actually be with Jenny, I could actually be right for her.

"_How can you be so sure?" _A cryptic voice whispered in my ear, doubt colouring his words and planting a seed of uncertainty in my heart.

I decided to play dumb. _"Sure of what?"_

"_That she'll actually _want_ to see you? That she'll be happy that you're back?" _

At that I frowned and didn't answer. The first seeds of doubt blossoming into something bigger and deeper. The truth was I wasn't sure at all. Whenever we were together in the past something bad had happened. It was as if she was the sun and I was the moon. We could never be together. I could chase her in my precious hours of daylight, but she would always escape past the horizon. She always evaded me, dissipated like mist when I needed her the most. She forced me to be, like the moon, a lone eye watching from the distance, not always seen but always there. Observing from the side lines and protecting her from harm's way.

"_I thought so," _Tommy's ghostly laugh echoed around my head, _"you're just as lost as the rest of us, you haven't got a clue how she's gonna react." _

I growled, if Tommy was in front of me at that moment I would have killed him. How was it that he could strip away all of my self-control with just a few words? How could the boy who was so oblivious when it came to Jenny be so close to the truth now? I clenched my fists and resisted the urge to hit something as self-doubt seeped into my mind. What if, after all this time, she didn't want me? What if all she could see now were my flaws and she sent me away to live a life of solace? What if everything went wrong?

Jenny's POV

I glanced behind me to check if anyone was following me as I descended the basement stairs, closing the door behind me with a soft click. The stale and musty smell of old books and an unused room filled the basement, it was clear that no one had been down here since they'd found me when I was five. Morning sunlight filtered weakly through the small windows on the far side of the room, a stark contrast to the gloom that dominated the rest of the basement. I turned slowly, taking the whole room in, my eyes scanning the room for any sign of disturbance, any sign that someone was down here with me. But the room was silent, the only things that were out of place were the pieces of equipment we'd used at the end of the last game to travel to the Shadow land.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to focus on moving one foot in front of the other and not on the memories that threatened to overwhelm me. If only I could see him just one more time so I could tell him how much I missed him, how much I loved him. I imagined his face, the way the coldness and indifference would seep out of his cobalt eyes with just one glance at me. I felt a trail of warmth seep down my cheeks followed by another and another. I was crying. I laughed at myself for being so weak but it sounded more like a choked sob.

I looked up, trying to see past the tears clouding my vision and saw a door. The closet door had runes all over it, almost concealing the original wood beneath. My throat constricted as painful memories swirled in my mind. My grandfather being pulled into the closet by the Shadow Men in an act to save me; Julian's first glimpse of me; tricking and locking Julian in the closet. They invaded my mind, uninvited, streaming from behind the door I had locked them behind.

The tears flowed faster and I had the urge to open the closet. Unbidden, hope rose from somewhere deep within me and I knew that, for some reason, my subconscious had dragged me down here in the hope that I'd find Julian here. I fished the golden band out of my pocket and slipped it onto my finger, drawing strength from its presence. I reached forward, my fingers brushing the cool brass handle. I took a deep breath and twisted the handle, letting the door swing toward me.

The closet was empty.

The sight of it, dust coating every surface, crushed me. I let out a small hiccup as the small ounces of hope that had sprung up uninvited, were destroyed beyond recognition. I couldn't breathe, it was as if someone had taken away all the oxygen, or my lungs had collapsed. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself together, but a single tear managed to escape.

All I'd wanted was a bit of magic, but obviously that wasn't allowed anymore. The universe was trying to make me suffer, I'd made my choice and now I had to live with it.

**A/N: Hey people! I updated before the end of may! is that good? thanks for all the author/ story alerts you guys are awesome! Review this time tho plz!**

** thx 2 RockMusicLoverX for reviewing! **

**Nightgirl25 - sorry for taking so long 2 update all the time! if you're still reading this and r giving me the silent treatment PLEASE give me a REVIEW!**

**Also everyone else who reads this plz review!**


	11. Chapter 11

Audrey's POV

I slipped out of the house at dawn. The sun was rising, a mixture of bloody reds and deep purples. It was so beautiful; I wished I could share it with someone. But there was no point. I was going to a new country; I was wiping the slate clean. Anybody from this 'life' as it were, was just a dead weight. No one would want anything to do with me once they realised I had abandoned them anyway, so carrying their memory with me would just pull me down. I was running away from everything I had built up. After all we had been through a simple problem was all it took to tear us apart.

I didn't leave a note explaining my whereabouts. I didn't leave anything except the things that would remind me of my friends. I only left enough for them to know that I left of my own accord. Did that make me selfish? To leave without saying goodbye? I suppose it did. But I wasn't strong enough to say it - to say that I was leaving, because I knew that by the end of the year I would be but a memory, everyone would have moved on seamlessly and I would no longer matter. I couldn't face that truth, so I wouldn't. Instead, I would lie to myself, I would pretend I mattered.

I closed my eyes against the sunrise and took a deep breath. I was really doing this. I slid into the driving seat of the car and quietly turned the key in the ignition. Tears blurred my vision; in all my years of shifting around, it had never hurt this much.

"I'll miss you" I whispered, as I reversed the car out of the drive, "goodbye."

Michael's POV

"Has anyone seen Audrey?" I called as I skipped down the stairs, "I haven't seen her all morning and she isn't answering her phone."

I walked into the kitchen, it was empty. Meaning everybody was still asleep. I winced; I was _so_ in trouble if I woke anyone up.

I glanced out of the window, there was not a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining warmly, but something was off about the scene in front of me. I stared at it for a long moment before it clicked.

The car was gone. I blinked and was still for one agonizing moment. _Could she have left? _I dismissed that thought instantly, _she's probably food shopping. _ She likes it here too much to leave, she's happy with me. But the panic was still there, deep in my stomach.

I turned and opened the first cupboard I laid my hands on, hoping that it would be empty and I would be right to think that Audrey was food shopping. It was full of food. I swore and checked the next one. And the next, and the next, with each full cupboard my dread deepened. I pushed my head into my hands.

She was gone. _She was gone. Gone. _

I swore again, louder this time. I didn't care if I woke up the whole neighbourhood. _Audrey was gone!_ I ripped the food from the cupboard in front of me and threw it to the floor. Then I stripped the other cupboards and the fridge of their food too. _Why did she go?_ I kicked a bag of flour that had dropped so hard that it split, but it wasn't enough. I kicked again and again until I was covered in white powder. I thought she was happy here, with me. A low guttural sound erupted and I felt another surge of anger. I found the box of eggs from their place on the floor and threw them at the walls. _Why did she leave me? Was I not good enough for her?_

I sank down in the midst of the chaotic scene I had created and raked my hands through my hair, not caring about the egg and crap that would now be stuck in it. I shivered as my anger left and other stronger emotions overcame it. The pain left me gasping; I curled into a ball and cried.

_Why did she do this to me? To us?_

Jenny's POV

I closed my eyes against the sky. It was the perfect blue that reminded me of _him, _I couldn't look at it right now. I was too vulnerable. I got up, stiff from sitting still for so long and yanked the curtains shut. I abruptly turned and went up the basement stairs; my eyes were red and puffy from crying but I didn't care. They should know that I had been crying and that I missed and mourned the one man that they had grown to hate.

When I reached the top of the stairs I stopped. The carving on the door was fresh; it was the doorway to Shadow World. I traced the markings slowly. Had it only been a few days since Julian had died? Since he disappeared from my grasp and vanished into thin air? I think that's the worst part - the fact that he's just _gone. _It cuts me like a knife. I can't mourn him properly, like I should be able to. There is no cemetery I can go to when I need him, no funeral to cry at. There's just nothing. It's like he never existed. The others refuse to talk about him, unless it's to say something along the lines of _you're better off without him._ But I'm not. How could I ever be when he's the one who's protected me from everything?

When I look back at his last days, I want to cry even more. Whatever cursed me to say that I didn't love him? That I didn't care? I wish now, more than ever, that I could take those words back, those actions, because I know without a doubt, that if it had been Tom who had died, Julian would comfort me all the way.

I opened the door and slipped through it silently. The sun had risen and the perfect blue of the sky had faded. I heard something drop to the floor in the kitchen and turned. I thought I was the only one up. I walked forward slowly, hesitantly. When I got to the kitchen it was a mess. I heard soft crying and looked over the breakfast bar.

"_Michael?" _

I slipped around to the front of the kitchen and knelt down in front of him. He barely seemed to see me though; his gaze remained focused on something behind me.

"Michael, what happened?"

"She's gone," his voice was a hoarse monotone whisper; "Audrey's gone."

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**A/N: Ooooh... cliffy, well semi- cliffy. You know what happens, I think. I wrote this a while ago and then forgot to upload... :S I know kinda dumb. I'm kinda failing at the whole updating regularly...my bad *hangs head in shame* I need to stop reading so much and work more! :D If it makes you feel better I've semi started writing the beginning of the next chapter! :D **

**Also to anyone reading my other story** _My Bleeding Heart _**that's going to be very slow in progress, I think I'm gonna have to write it backwards cos I have the plot all jumbled in my head...so my apologies there. :P But once its all written I should update faster. No promises though! :D**

**Thanks for reviews I got for last chapter, particularly **_Grell's Girl 13, _**your comments really made me smile and I'm glad you've liked what you've read so far, and also** _LilBlondeRikku _**for your constructive criticism!**

**I look forward to hearing everyone's comments! :) **


	12. Chapter 12

Jenny's POV

"Are you sure?" I asked, my voice shot up several octaves.

He nodded, still not looking at me.

I didn't believe him. I ran upstairs and checked her room.

The bed was stripped. I ignored the strengthening belief in my stomach and checked all the wardrobes. They were bare. I felt hollow as I sat back on my haunches. She really was gone.

X_X_X_X_X

Michael was in the same spot he had been in five minutes ago. I noticed now that eggs were splattered on the floor, semi dried and sticky. Michael didn't seem to care that he was sitting in the centre of the mess in his favourite jeans. That or he was too shocked to realise.

I walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"If it helps, I'm here. I'm going through the same-"

"Through the same thing?" Michael interrupted me, each word bitter and clipped, "No. You aren't and _never_ will be going through the _same thing_ as me. You know _why_? Because Julian didn't leave you – not willingly at least - he loved you so much that he was willing to die for you. Audrey left me _willingly_, for God knows what because she didn't even think to tell her _boyfriend_ that she was leaving. There was no note, no goodbye. Just a sudden absence. Tell me how in _hell_ that is the _same_ as what you are going through?" His muted whisper had risen to a yell at some point and now he was flat out screaming at me.

I flinched at each hateful word. It was like a physical slap. The wound on my heart that had just been scabbing over was slowly being ripped apart. I blinked back tears in the sudden silence after. I shook my head and stood up. I turned to face Michael just before I left, and opened my mouth planning on saying something mean and spiteful, but nothing came.

A cruel smile twisted Michael's lips, "What? Can't you find anything mean to say? I guess you used them all up on Tommy that day with the whole _'I hate you'_ thing."

The tears I had been trying to hold back, began to fall freely down my face, "That's not fair."

"Jenny, _life's _not fair. Get used to it."

I turned and left, speechless. Whoever that person was, he wasn't my friend and he most certainly wasn't Michael.

Julian's POV

I walked down the stairs slowly. I figured the best time to make an appearance would be when everyone else was gone. I took each step slowly, enjoying the feeling of having a body, of being free from the shadows.

I wondered when I should tell Jenny about my situation. Tom had given me doubts. If I wasn't careful, I was going to lose her. Everything had to be said in just the right way at just the right moment. Otherwise she wouldn't believe me.

A wave of nerves rushed through me as footsteps echoed down the hall towards me. The person coming was practically running towards me. I hated not knowing who it was, as a Shadow Man I could disappear in an instant if I didn't wish to see that person, but now I was some kind of hybrid, I was weak. I considered rushing back up the stairs and hiding in my room. I didn't want to run into the wrong people. But before I had even started to turn, I caught a flash of long honey blond hair. _Jenny. _

I could hear her ragged gasps as she raced forward. She was crying. My heart twisted. She hadn't seen me yet and continued on. I knew she was going to run into me and that when she saw me, she would see Tom. The man she had once loved but now only saw as an echo of past happiness. But I didn't move. I waited. I waited until she ran smack into me and then enveloped her in my arms.

Her warmth seeped into me and I sighed. _I'm here. I'm here now. _She crumpled into me almost instantly and broke into ragged sobs. She was so broken, she had fallen so far from the girl I had fallen in love with. I felt that she would break into a billion pieces if I let her go. I felt Jenny's tears spill onto my collar and then onto my neck. Anger struck white hot and I felt the darker part of me, the part of me that had grown up as a cold and untouchable Shadow man, rise up. I wanted to I_ kill _whoever had made Jenny feel like this.

My arms tightened protectively around her quivering form before I released her and tried to gauge what had made her feel like this. She refused to look at me in the eye and hid her face behind her hair as if she was ashamed of her tears.

"What happened?" My voice was a fierce whisper as I stroked her tears away with the pads of my thumbs.

A choked sob escaped her mouth, "I just miss him, you know? I miss him so much it _hurts_ and everybody hates me for it. Is it wrong for me to have loved him?"

A single bead of hope bloomed inside of me. Was she talking about me? "Wrong that you loved who?"

She shook her head but otherwise didn't answer.

"Jenny who did you love?" I asked my voice tinged with desperation.

She opened her mouth and looked up at me, before closing it abruptly. I frowned slightly, what was she doing? She hastily wiped her eyes and shrugged out of my arms. I could practically feel the walls as they came up around her.

She crossed her arms across her chest, creating a physical barrier between us and when she glanced at me again; her eyes were distinctly colder.

"Why are you pretending to care?"

I didn't answer.

"Why are you pretending to care? We both know you don't."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. How do you answer that question? I couldn't tell the truth, she wouldn't believe me. I was unprepared and caught off guard. I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. "You know I can't answer that," I whispered.

She shook her head. "That's the thing – I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."

I reached for her, "Jenny -"

She evaded my grasp. "No, I can't deal with this right now. I just need to be alone."

I opened my mouth to object, but she pushed past me and ran up the stairs before I could form the words. That had been nothing like I had hoped it would be. I felt terrible. It had always been hard for me to interact with Jenny, but she'd never been so closed off and defensive. I turned and kicked the wall. How was I supposed to do this?

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**A/N: Hi guys. I'm back! I bet all of you guys are shocked! I updated in less than two months...if not one month! :D But I must say... I was very sad when I got no reviews to the last chapter. Was it crappy or were you guys all really lazy...cos I know people read it! :D So...if anyone IS still interested in this story...please review and gimme some feedback? I promise you guys it makes my day! :D**


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